Thursday, February 7, 2013

My New Mantra







As explosive and poison bombs were falling on major cities in England during WWII, the British government issued a propaganda campaign that included posters saying “Keep Calm and Carry On.”  My good friend, Anita, recently reminded me of this sentiment.  This past week, since learning that my initial chemotherapies were not consistently working to stop or slow the disease progression in my liver, has been a very difficult time for Wynn, our kids, and me.  I have felt like my world is being showered with explosive and poison bombs.

My clinical picture is inconsistent.  Although the primary tumor in my lung is measurably smaller and all of my liver enzyme tests have improved (some returning to within normal ranges), the tumors in my liver and bones are larger and more numerous.  The inconsistencies made us wonder if I wasn't giving the initial chemotherapies enough time, which started a cascade of phone calls, appointments, emails, and online searches for information to help me to feel OK about moving onto a new chemo drug; one that will focus more on my liver, but which is more toxic and has scarier side effects.  (Didn’t think that was possible.)  The new chemo, I am told, will “kick my ass.”  My hair will definitely fall out, which amazingly hasn’t happened yet, and the recovery after chemo will be tougher and longer.

The opinions of 3 oncologists were consistent, however.  They all suggest moving onto the new chemo because they feel the advancement in my liver needs to be addressed.  All have indicated that if I have a strong need/desire to continue with my initial regiment for 1-2 more rounds I “wouldn’t lose much”.  Based on their input and Wynn’s research, I’ve decided to move forward to the new chemo.  That happened earlier today.

Wish me luck as I keep calm and carry on. 

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good luck with the new chemo L, hoping/praying for shrinkage, and no side effects.
Love,
Kisha

Debbie McLaurin said...

My Father always says "Carry on" and now I know where that comes from. Thinking of you all day today, Luna. Good Mantra! Keep calm and carry on. F e e e e e l the healing and move those poisons out.

Wanwan said...

Your friend gave you some very sage, almost zen-like, advice.

I saw a Japanese proverb that refers to the uncertainty of things we often experience in this world of ours: "Gathering clouds to the moon; the wind to blossoms." (Tsuki ni murakumo hana ni kaze).

Ganbatte, Luna.

ark said...

Luna, you are takig action with this new treatment. Yes, it's great advice. Keep calm & carry on. We're hoping for the best with you.

Denise Friesen said...

Lu,
Okay, not sure why, but Carry On my Wayward Son by Kansas keeps playing in my head now. I hope you will "carry on" in your constant state of seeing the glass half full and enjoy life to it's fullest.

I'll be praying that new chemo cocktail is just the ticket to shrink things all around. AND that you experience minimal side effects.

Carry on dear friend,
Peace I pray for you.
denise

Anonymous said...

Dear Luna,
I am praying that the new chemo treatment will not only shrink, but destroy the tumors EVERYWHERE. God can do anything. I pray, also, that the side effects are minimal and you take comfort that the medicine is shrinking the tumors. You are truly loved.
Kath

Anonymous said...

You are so brave and measured in your approach to something that truly must feel like bombs falling all around you and your sweet family. I wish I could give you a big hug now and know that my prayers continue for you every single day. I hope you can feel all the love and support of your friends, dear Luna.
Joany

Shirley Kroot said...

Luna, I am so glad that you are taking the strong stance with the new chemo. It may "kick your ass" but I know that you will kick it right back. Hope you have minimal side effects. You look amazing for what you are going through. Happy that you are still skiing, as I know how much you enjoy that. Hope to see you in May. Stay strong, my friend. Love, Shirley

Dana Shields said...

I have a feeling those kick ass chemo drugs work, even though they'll kick your butt too. i'm visualizing the new treatment pushing the cancer cells right out of your body, down your arms and through your fingers, down your legs and through your toes. you are a fighter Luna. incredibly strong. you can kick your cancer's ass!

Ann said...

Luna, It was such a pleasure to visit with you and your wonderful family last weekend. It was great to be with you and Stef; it felt like old times. Your attitude is remarkable. You are truly an inspiration. -Ann

Anonymous said...

Luna, Finally, I selected the comment botton to tell you that... You are always on my mind. I pray for you consistenly. I know that you are strong and ready to fight this. I love the fact you found a new mantra. We miss you much here. Keep calm, and keep posting.
Love,
Jean Carr

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you and hoping that the new chemo will work for you. It is a long journey.
I got a new blue coffee mug on Tuesday - it says Keep Calm and Drink Coffee - it matches my new blue nightgown that I can get into by myself with only one working arm starting next Thursday.
Keeping you in my prayers.
Francie