Tuesday, July 22, 2014

The Secret Ingredient

     I don't know if it's because of recent auspicious family events, (the birth of a grandniece and our nephew's wedding), or because I have serious cancer, but I've been nostalgic and feeling like I should try to pass on certain family pearls. I've found myself retelling stories and digitizing old photos for preservation.  A few weeks ago Nina and I made Grandma Anna's meatballs for a family get-together. This recipe is definitely a pearl.
Wynn's grandparents on their wedding day.


      Anna was Wynn's maternal grandmother and although she passed away well over a decade ago, I think of her often and still miss her very much. She was sweet, gentle and chatty.  Anna, the second of seven children, grew up during the Great Depression, worked her whole life in the offices at Sears, raised Wynn's mom, and helped raise Wynn and his three siblings, living with them the last third of her life. She was an amazing keeper of their home and was famously known for her cooking, especially her meatballs.  

Grandma Anna on our wedding day.

 
   
     For those of us who remember eating her meatballs, weren't they were all encompassing; taste, smell and texture?  (For those of us who remember walking into the house on Maison Court when Anna lived and cooked there, you'll remember the savory aroma of meatballs, with a slight hint of mothballs.)

     
     I've decided to share Grandma Anna's meatball recipe as a duty to humankind.  I learned the cooking techniques from Grandma herself. With Nina's assistance, we photo-logged the process. 

 
Here are the ingredients you'll need.  You can use ground turkey, ground beef, or a combination.  We like the combination the best.  Anna used matzo meal, but we use brown rice flour to make our meatballs gluten-free.  The secret ingredient, (to be revealed later), is a must.
 


In a large bowl, combine the ground meat, eggs, flour (or matzo meal), garlic powder, seasoning, salt and pepper.  The meat mixture should be a little sticky.  If it's not, add a little water, a tablespoon at a time.  (If not a little sticky when raw, the meatballs will turn out too firm, and who wants hard meatballs?)  Set the meat mixture aside.

 
In a stockpot, saute chopped onions, green peppers and diced garlic in olive oil.  Add seasoning, salt and pepper.  Stir periodically and saute until they are soft.  Reduce heat to low.






 
With wet hands, roll 1-1/2 inch balls and place them on top of the sauteed veggies, one layer deep.  Pour just enough crushed tomatoes to cover the first layer. With medium-high heat, bring to a boil.  Reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 10 minutes or until the meatballs are cooked enough to keep their shape. 







DO NOT STIR them with a utensil because the meatballs will break apart.  (You'll be able to stir the pot later, when all the meatballs are cooked and firm.)


 

To move the sauce around the meatballs, pick up the pot and gently rock it back-and-forth in a circular motion.










After the first layer of meatballs are cooked firm, roll more meatballs for the second layer.  Add crushed tomatoes and chili sauce to cover each layer as you go. Place a lid on the pot and let it simmer for 10 minutes each time you add a layer.  Remember to allow each layer of meatballs to cook until they are firm before adding the next layer of meatballs. 



 

When all the meat is rolled, cover the pot and let it simmer on a low heat for 30-40 minutes.










Turn off the heat and add the secret ingredient. Gently stir to blend in the jelly.

  





REMEMBER:  Don't stir the meatballs until they are all cooked and firm.  When you do mix them, do it gently.

     Grandma Anna would make her meatballs the day before she wanted to serve them.  She always said they were better the next day.  Reheat them in the pot on a medium-low heat.  (They take a while to reheat, BTW.) Anna also made sure there was plenty of bread around to dip into the sauce. 

Here's the recipe:

Grandma Anna's Meatballs
Ingredients:
  • 3 lbs. ground turkey, beef, or a combination
  • 2 eggs
  • 3-4 T. matzo meal or brown rice flour
  • 1 T. brown sugar (optional)
  • ~1/2 C. water
  • 2-3 cloves of garlic, diced
  • One medium-large onion, chopped
  • One green bell pepper, chopped
  • 28 oz. can crushed tomatoes
  • 1/2-3/4 bottle Heinz chili sauce
  • 2 heaping spoonfuls of grape jelly (Probably ~2T.)
  • Morton's Nature's Seasoning or Lawry's Seasoned Salt (several shakes for the meat mixture and several shakes for the sauce)
  • Salt and pepper, several shakes each
  • Garlic powder, a few shakes
  • Olive oil (to saute the onions and green pepper)
Directions:
1.  In a large bowl, combine the ground meat, eggs, flour (or matzo meal), water, garlic powder, seasoning, salt and pepper. (Add the optional brown sugar here.) Combine with your hands.  If the meat mixture isn't a little sticky, add water, 1-2 T. at a time.  A slightly sticky meat mixture makes for more tender meatballs.  Set aside.
2.  In a stockpot, saute chopped onions, green peppers and diced garlic in olive oil.  Add seasoning, salt and pepper.  Stir periodically and saute until they are soft. Reduce heat to low.
3.  Form 1-1/2" meatballs and place one layer of meatballs on top of onions and peppers.  Pour some of the crushed tomatoes and chili sauce to cover meatballs.  Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to simmer.  Cover and simmer for ~10 minutes.  Form meatballs for a second layer.  If needed, repeat for a 3rd layer. Simmer on low heat for 30-40 minutes.  DO NOT STIR UNTIL MEATBALLS ARE COOKED.
4.  Turn off heat, add grape jelly.  Gently stir to blend in the jelly.  ENJOY!

Or:   Cool.  Store in 'frig.  Reheat the next day on a medium-low heat. 




Friday, July 11, 2014

CT Scans #7, Update


     It's been four months since my last set of CT scans. Although there are times when I seem to suddenly run out of energy, for the most part, I have
Just a nice photo from San Juan Island, WA
been feeling pretty well. 
I'd like to think that the way I feel is some indication of how I'm doing on the inside.  Most times I'm able to reassure myself that Xalkori, (my miraculous chemotherapy pill,) is still working because I don't feel sick.  However, every once in a while, what creeps into my mind is the fact that in the weeks and months leading up to the discovery of my cancer, I was feeling fine, too. 

     Around the time of my last scans I was experiencing some significant fatigue.  My work days were especially challenging.  I was so exhausted by the time I got home, I'd need a nap before dinner and was asleep for the night long before Jimmy Fallon.  My oncologist suggested that I back off of my workout routine, which at the time wasn't a problem, since I was so tired. He reminded me that fighting the constant cancer battle requires a lot of energy.  That lasted through mid-May.  

     My energy level has gotten better since then, but I've significantly reduced the intensity and frequency of my workouts.  Being relatively fit before I was diagnosed, getting in regular workouts and trying to stay strong made me feel better equipped to do battle.  So, it felt a little like a defeat when I admitted to myself that I needed to scale back my exercise routine to preserve my energy for the long game.  Plus, it makes me sad to pass up opportunities to bike with Wynn and our friends, decline invitations and miss events. (BTW:  The amount of energy I spend trying to overcome the physical challenges of cancer pales in comparison to the energy I spend trying to win the 'head game' of cancer.)

     For most of my adult life I've been a busy person.  I love being with family and friends, entertaining and being entertained. My job and the active lifestyle I share with Wynn have been an unconscious way of living for us.  It's how we've always been.  But, perhaps, we have been too busy...also unconsciously.  Cancer has made us re-think this, so lately we've been trying not to over-schedule ourselves.  I've had to reconcile that I'm not able to do everything I want to do and that re-balancing my life will need to be a more conscious and deliberate act, which is probably not a bad thing...even if I didn't have cancer.

Siberian irises in my garden. 
     Yesterday I had more surveillance CT scans of my chest, abdomen and pelvis.  I received the following in an email from my oncologist:
  
"Great News!  There is no significant change from the previous scan in March and the serum tumor markers all look stable.  So overall the findings are favorable so we will definitely continue the Xalkori."

     Unlike past CT scans, I didn't worry so much or lose sleep the night before the appointment.  I'm guessing that's because I've gained more confidence that, at least for now, I'm doing OK.   


Monday, June 23, 2014

Hot Air Balloon Fest





Launching of the balloons.
    This past weekend our friends, Ann and Mike, invited us to join them at their place at Eagle Ridge Resort in Galena, IL for The Great Galena Balloon Race.

   We've never seen so many hot air balloons at one time and the expression, "eye candy," seemed like the perfect metaphor. 

It was a perfect day for a balloon fest.
     
                                    We watched as the balloon crews set up and inflated the balloons, then flew them.  There was a lot of buzzing around by crew members to get a balloon upright and in the air.  Piloting must require loads of knowledge and skill.  After landing the crews packed up so quickly.  The fabric the balloons are made of must be thin and light because the deflated balloons were folded up and packed into large duffel bags, which were carried away by one guy.  The bulky part of the whole thing is the basket, which took several crew members to hoist onto a truck or into a large van.  

      

   Aside from the roar of the burners, which are periodically fired up, these colorful bubbles floated above our heads in silence.  I love silent sports...biking, kayaking, skiing.  These are the sports that let me be active while allowing my mind and spirit to drink in the world around me.  Riding in a hot air balloon is probably an amazing experience, especially on a clear day.  I know I'd love the views and the sensation of floating.  

     

                                                                                                

 At night, they had a "balloon glow." 

 

   The problem is...I'm afraid of heights.  Given that I can't climb a ladder, I'll enjoy hot air balloons from my lawn chair... and dream.....


    

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

The Beauty of Life...



                                                            ...is that it goes on.



 

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of joy for our family.  In late May, our niece, Becca, her husband, Devin, and their son, Hyat, welcomed little Nora. 

She is a sweet and easy baby and we are so very happy for them all.  I'm sure Nora already knows what a great family she has been born into.

A hearty CONGRATULATIONS! to Becca, Devin, H-man,  grandparents:  Debbie, Michael, Mariette & Tony, and both GREAT-grandfathers: Joe and Herb!

  




Then in early June, our nephew, Larry, married the love of his life, Leslie.  It was a beautiful wedding and a very fun reception!  Great food, music, and an ample dance floor.  

Leslie...we welcome you with open arms. And another hearty CONGRATULATIONS! to you both!









I took this picture a couple years ago at Camp Warren in northern Minnesota.  I love this photo.  I'm not sure if the new tree sprouted from the seemingly dead stump, or if a wayward seed nestled its way into the safe harbor of the old stump.  In any case, it reminds me that life goes on...and what a beautiful thing that is.


Monday, May 26, 2014

Then...and Now

Memorial Day Weekend, 28-years ago, Wynn and I married each other:  

For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.  

Then...







Dancing to "Shout," from the movie Animal House. Remember that?!





...and now.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Meet Stefanie...

...my pal.  We met each other the first day of graduate school at UC Berkeley, over 30 years ago.  We stay together whenever we go to genetics conferences and I get to see her when she comes to Chicago for work meetings.  I got to see her last week.  She is among my dearest friends and I wanted you to know her.  She's a real gem :)

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Decreasing Urgency



     Soon I will mark 18-months since I was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer.  Oddly, it feels like it was just yesterday at the same time it feels like it's been years.  Time is often a topic of my thoughts...how it ebbs and flows depending upon how things are going. 

     When I was diagnosed and for the first six months, or so, I was not optimistic that I would live beyond the (now outdated) statistic of 6-12 months for folks with stage 4 adenocarcinoma of the lung.  I don't know if it's common for others with a terminal illness to feel the way I did, but I suspect there is often a sense of urgency to do things before life ends. Most of the items on my bucket list are not necessarily 'tasks' but rather organizational processes, (which speaks to my personality.)

     Here are a few items, (rational and irrational), that were on my short list of things to deal with before my time was up: 

      1)  I wanted to make sure my two (young adult) children were on the right track to being healthy, (mind, body, and spirit), adults.  I had a great need to tell them to always be kind, responsible, reliable and dependable, and to save money on their way to becoming prosperous.  I felt that if I could see them headed in the right direction in their 20's, they would have the life skills to love, be loved, and find a circle of family, friends and partners that would support them in my absence. I wanted both of them to be neat, eat only healthy foods, exercise regularly, have impeccable table manners, be on time, polite, diplomatic and fair at all times.  

     2)  I wanted to get my house in order.  I felt it was necessary to paint the interior, have the patio leveled, pick out new outdoor furniture, get new carpeting, replace old blinds, get new bed linens and empty the basement of all unused stuff.  

     3)  I needed to create as many good memories for Wynn as I could.  I wanted him to be able to easily remember our shared experiences unrelated to my illness.  Hence, we went to Italy, we bike and ski together whenever possible, and I try to be "present" whenever I'm with him.  I also wanted to keep the disagreements to a minimum. 

     Here's what I've learned about each of the above items now that I'm outliving my own initial expectations:

     1) Although I will always be a mother to my children, no matter what age they are, to try to condense everything I wanted to teach them into less than a year was extremely stressful for everyone.  I found myself being impatient and inflexible.  I realized that if I kept that up, I'd end up driving them away...at a time when I needed them the most.  

     2) Getting my house in order requires a lot of time, effort and money.  As always, I can only do what we can budget for and I must balance my cleaning frenzies with days of rest, so that I don't run out of energy. Also, emptying out the basement of all unused stuff is...not possible.  

     3) I still want to create as many good memories for Wynn as possible.  

     Among the many nice things I've realized about living longer than expected is that I don't have the crazy overwhelming sense of urgency like I had a year ago.  I know that I have more time with my children so that teaching them about being good human beings can come about by setting an example, through long serial conversations, and by walking at their sides, as we all pass through life. Oh...and poor Wynn...since there is no longer that sense of urgency, I no longer have to keep the disagreements to a minimum.